What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
