I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
