NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
