oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
