Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
