Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
