Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
