Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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