i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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