You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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