gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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