At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
