ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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