is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this just has baby written all over it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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