Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
