please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
