it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
