hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
