I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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