At least make sure they are 18
Why
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
