im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
