i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
