Can Purell be used as lube?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
