Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
