I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
