well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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