You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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