Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
