god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
