you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
