You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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