I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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