What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
