You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
