Duck Duck Cougar?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
