I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
only you would photoshop your dick
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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