Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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