im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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