I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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