Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
