So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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