she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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