dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
