If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
