I'm going to jail i love you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
