I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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