he wants to bone in the snuggie
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
