Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
