Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
