I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
