She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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