Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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