Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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