yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
